Strength in Weakness ~ Merry Christmas

I am feeling so overwhelmed and grateful for the love and mercy my Savior offers... I have been rude, self absorbed, ungraceful, and to be blunt, I haven't been what you would call a "Christian." I have hurt peoples feelings, I have said the wrong thing at the wrong time out of frustration, I have been impatient, I have been unmerciful... And it's Christmas... Why haven't I been cheerful, and polite, rather than all of this?

Do you really want to know? I could tell you my secret... But that would mean being really, REAL.

Ok, here it is... I... AM... NOT... PERFECT!

There! I said it!... Shocker right? Yeah right. (Insert eye roll)

Gosh, I am so imperfect... I am human... I am weak...

But there is so much glory to be found in weakness...

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10

God promised me that His grace and His power was all I would need. When I stand in front of Him and I confess that I was wrong, that I had a moment of weakness, that I hurt somebody with my words or actions... His grace is sufficient.

I can confirm that I have done all of the previously mentioned things... It hurts, but I have.

Want names? Because I can give you specific names of the people whose hearts I know I have broken: God, Dylan, Mom, Tyler, Logan, Marena, Sami, Erin, Ellen, Nick... Trust me the list goes on...

If I didn't mention you, but you are someone I have disappointed or let down or been rude to, I am so so sorry...

I almost wish I could wake up tomorrow and say I had a perfect year. But I can't. Things might be awkward, and there might be tension. But... That is nothing compared to the pain and misery that Christ suffered for me. The reason He was born was so that He could save me from myself... So that someday, I would finally understand that His grace really is enough. I'm not making an excuse for my actions, but I'm reminding you that I'm not perfect. I am so weak... And I'm begging for your forgiveness.

Tomorrow we will open gifts, and eat delicious food, and play games, and watch television, and relax, and enjoy time surrounded by loved ones... But PLEASE don't forget that we are celebrating a birthday...

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord..." ~Luke 2:10-11

 

I can guarantee you that I will have a great time tomorrow doing the above mentioned things. But in the stillness, I can promise you that I am going to praise Him. The one who came to save me from myself... The one whose grace is sufficient... The one who died for me... The only one that can do a mighty work on this Work in Progress.

 

Praying that everyone has a very Merry Christmas!!!

 

Imperfectly Yours,

Symone Lin

The Weary and Heavy-laden

Obviously I haven't been around in a while... With school, work, and the amount of homework I have it has been hard to catch my breath. And me, being a people pleaser on top of that, have used any extra time available to please and attempt to love on those special people in my life... But it becomes hard to love on them when I am constantly thinking, or planning or even worrying about something else.

I could be doing homework, or studying, or planning for the wedding, or taking a hot bath...

It seems that I get so wrapped up in the things I could be doing, that I begin to wander, and I don't really live in the moment... And that is really hard on a person and the people around them. I know it has been for me.

So with the semester wrapping up, having to finish my last assignments and study for finals, I have slowly started to lose my mind. I have been rude, and cranky, and unattentive, and just downright mean to the people in my life that I love the most.

As a matter of fact, I about lost it on my fiance a few nights ago. I had worked for hours on an assignment, and intentionally saved it multiple times. Yet when I went to submit it online... It. Was. GONE!!! I searched in every possible folder on the laptop and it was just gone. Logan offered to look through the folders  to try and find it, he offered comforting kisses, and told me I needed a hug to hold me together, but I wanted nothing to do with him! Isn't that awful? I'm going to marry this man, and I wanted him to just get away from me... Not because of anything he had done, but because I was so mad!

I later apologized. I felt so bad for treating him the way I had when it was in no way his fault and he was just trying to help...

I asked him why he put up with me the way he does when I get cranky or lose my mind?
And he told me, "Because I love you and I can handle it."

Wow... What a smack in the face... And I deserved it. This kind, gentle, loving man was offering me anything I needed for comfort, and I all but blew up in his face...

Don't we all do that, all the time. When we get frustrated or angry, we take it out on the ones we love the most. And as bad as we feel, we know that they will always forgive us because of the unending love that they have for us.

We do that to God... Anytime life gets in the way, or we get so consumed with stuff, and we just feel like we can't take it anymore, and we ask "Why?"

We get mad at Him, and we ignore Him, and we doubt Him, and we hate that we have to go through what we are going through, and we blame Him.

But He has made us a promise because he loves us so much.

 

" ...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:37-39

 



God promises us that there is nothing that could ever seperate us from His love. Absolutely nothing.... Now consider the people in our lives that also love us no matter what. As awful as we are to the ones we love, there is nothing that we could do to make them love us less. To me that is such an amazing example of Gods love through the people that He has put in our lives.


And when the semester is coming to an end, and we (me), act the way we do to the people that mean the most to us, because we are tired and weary and we just need a break, He tells us this:

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

If, rather than relying on myself to manage my time, and my school work, and my personal life, I had relied on God and His promise instead, then maybe I wouldn't have been so awful...

Consider where you are in your walk, and consider the people that God has put into your life, and let those people, who love and forgive you no matter what you say or how you act, know that they are God sent. Let them know that the love and forgiveness that they offer is a beautiful peice of the life that Jesus led.

This Christmas Season I want my loved ones, my family, my friends, my church family, to know that I am so sorry if I have ever acted in a way to them that was anything but the love that Jesus teaches. And I know that there will be forgivness and restoration to this Work in Progress because God promises it. And I have faith in it.

Forgiven,

Symone Lin