The Weary and Heavy-laden

Obviously I haven't been around in a while... With school, work, and the amount of homework I have it has been hard to catch my breath. And me, being a people pleaser on top of that, have used any extra time available to please and attempt to love on those special people in my life... But it becomes hard to love on them when I am constantly thinking, or planning or even worrying about something else.

I could be doing homework, or studying, or planning for the wedding, or taking a hot bath...

It seems that I get so wrapped up in the things I could be doing, that I begin to wander, and I don't really live in the moment... And that is really hard on a person and the people around them. I know it has been for me.

So with the semester wrapping up, having to finish my last assignments and study for finals, I have slowly started to lose my mind. I have been rude, and cranky, and unattentive, and just downright mean to the people in my life that I love the most.

As a matter of fact, I about lost it on my fiance a few nights ago. I had worked for hours on an assignment, and intentionally saved it multiple times. Yet when I went to submit it online... It. Was. GONE!!! I searched in every possible folder on the laptop and it was just gone. Logan offered to look through the folders  to try and find it, he offered comforting kisses, and told me I needed a hug to hold me together, but I wanted nothing to do with him! Isn't that awful? I'm going to marry this man, and I wanted him to just get away from me... Not because of anything he had done, but because I was so mad!

I later apologized. I felt so bad for treating him the way I had when it was in no way his fault and he was just trying to help...

I asked him why he put up with me the way he does when I get cranky or lose my mind?
And he told me, "Because I love you and I can handle it."

Wow... What a smack in the face... And I deserved it. This kind, gentle, loving man was offering me anything I needed for comfort, and I all but blew up in his face...

Don't we all do that, all the time. When we get frustrated or angry, we take it out on the ones we love the most. And as bad as we feel, we know that they will always forgive us because of the unending love that they have for us.

We do that to God... Anytime life gets in the way, or we get so consumed with stuff, and we just feel like we can't take it anymore, and we ask "Why?"

We get mad at Him, and we ignore Him, and we doubt Him, and we hate that we have to go through what we are going through, and we blame Him.

But He has made us a promise because he loves us so much.

 

" ...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:37-39

 



God promises us that there is nothing that could ever seperate us from His love. Absolutely nothing.... Now consider the people in our lives that also love us no matter what. As awful as we are to the ones we love, there is nothing that we could do to make them love us less. To me that is such an amazing example of Gods love through the people that He has put in our lives.


And when the semester is coming to an end, and we (me), act the way we do to the people that mean the most to us, because we are tired and weary and we just need a break, He tells us this:

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

If, rather than relying on myself to manage my time, and my school work, and my personal life, I had relied on God and His promise instead, then maybe I wouldn't have been so awful...

Consider where you are in your walk, and consider the people that God has put into your life, and let those people, who love and forgive you no matter what you say or how you act, know that they are God sent. Let them know that the love and forgiveness that they offer is a beautiful peice of the life that Jesus led.

This Christmas Season I want my loved ones, my family, my friends, my church family, to know that I am so sorry if I have ever acted in a way to them that was anything but the love that Jesus teaches. And I know that there will be forgivness and restoration to this Work in Progress because God promises it. And I have faith in it.

Forgiven,

Symone Lin