Birthdays & Worship

Happy Birthday to me! I turned 20 years old on Sunday the 14th... And honestly, it kind of started off on the wrong foot. The previous day  I had written my last blog about Haiti, and was in search of His stillness. It was a beautiful day, so I grabbed a lawn chair, and went and sat in the open field behind our progressing church building. I really felt like I just needed to be quiet... And I was. I prayed and just sat in the open field with God.

But, something was off. I wasn't really finding what I was looking for. I had been searching for stillness, and I had found it, but I still wasn't satisfied. Finally, I packed up my stuff and left... Unsatisfied. And I realized that maybe it wasn't the stillness I was looking for...

And then... Sunday morning, I wake up at the crack of dawn, I shower and get dressed for church. My handsome fiance picks me up, and we head off to church. Everything is good, I am still struggling with this desire for something, but other than that everything seems alright.

Until we get half way to Fulton. I look over at Logan and I ask him, "So when are you going to tell me Happy Birthday?"

He looks over at me with a look of disbelief, and horror. He had forgotten it was my birthday!! And we had even talked about it the night before!! And I'm not going to lie. Maybe I should have given him a little more time to wake up, and start the day before I said anything, but it still hurt... As much as I don't want to seem petty or pathetic, I was pretty upset.

So here I am, on my birthday, still unsatisfied, and disappointed... Did I mention I was also sick with a cold. You know, running nose, tightness in my chest, burning throat, pulsing headache... And now I am on the verge of tears. My entire face is leaking!!

We have our connection class, and we have our worship, and we have our service... All the while I am back and forth to the bathroom to wipe my teary eyes, and my runny nose. Consistently praying that God would DO SOMETHING to ease my weary heart...

And if you know God, and you know He is good, then you know He did SOMETHING.

The service was coming to a close, and the worship band got up to play. As I stood their listening to the words, and watching the people praise, I was overcome with this need to worship deeper then ever before. I think what finally pushed me to that worship was when a beautiful woman of God stood at the front of the church with her hands raised in total surrender... And I HAD to have it. I HAD to surrender.

I think I had joined this woman at the front of the church before I really knew what I was doing. And for the first time in this drought of praise, I finally found my way to that beautiful, still presence.

The best birthday gift I have ever received in my entire life, was this worship that filled me, and restored me, and lifted me...

I don't want you to think that I have had this beautiful experience and now my life is perfect, because it's not. I still struggle with stress, and time management, and people pleasing. But God gave me that moment of peace so that I can continue on in this journey that He has offered to lead me in.

I know I put this verse in my last post, but it still fits!

"Be still and know that I am God..."

~Psalm 46:10

 

My prayer is that if you are feeling dry, or confused, or distressed, or disappointed, that you will just BE QUIET. He has something for you!! All He is asking is that you will go somewhere to be alone with Him and let Him move you! It's okay to find this alone time when other people are around. If you really focus, you can find yourself absolutely and completely alone with God even if you are in a room full of people...

 

Like I said, this moment didn't make my life perfect. I could have a million moments like this and still not have a perfect life. But I am A Work in Progress, and I am okay if He wants to use the rest of life to work on me. Until next time.

 

Finally Still,

Symone Hurd



Haiti: The Quiet

Alright, here is my last post about Haiti. Finally, right?

You know, since I have been back, it seems like the quiet that I discovered in Haiti has ceased to exist. In the midst of all of this noise that we call our lives, it is a constant struggle to find a little peace and quiet.

But, the quiet I'm talking about isn't just lack of noise that I am looking for. It's this stillness that I can only find in my Father...

One day, while we were in Haiti, our leaders carved out an entire day for us. Not a day to relax or rest, but a day to do whatever we felt God was calling us to do. And immediately, His very real presence told me, and repeatedly told me then, and is continuing to tell me now,

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

~Psalm 46:10~

 

At first I thought He was asking me to stay back at the compound to pray for the others that went out to minister to the people of Haiti. But where I went instead, was definitely where He wanted me to be.

 

While some of the members were called to go down to the ocean and minister to those on the beach, others were called to prayer walk in the area around our compound, and a few others did end up staying at the compound to pray. The group I went with, went back to the church we had been doing our VBS ministry at.

 

And we sang, and we danced, and we cried, and we prayed... without ceasing... for almost 3 hours!

 

I would say that one of the greatest gifts that God gave me, was my ability to sing. I can't say I am great, but I definitely felt like it had been my biggest outlet for praising Him. But I discovered something... I discovered that my biggest outlet for praising Him, is just to be alone with Him. To BE STILL and KNOW that He is my GOD.

 



My biggest prayer while I was there, was that God would reveal Himself to me in the midst of the heartache, and the filth, and the corruption, that is called Haiti.

 

When I asked Him what He wanted me to do, we didn't chat... and I didn't question Him... because when he told me to BE STILL, I MADE time to BE STILL. Being here in America, where everyone go, go, goes, it is hard. But, we have to make time...

 

Today I have to make that time. Since I have been back, I have craved, and desired to find some of this stillness; I want more of it.

 

I can't please everybody... I do love you. But my number one concern in life is that I please my Father. That I make time to be with Him... Because this quiet stillness I am searching for, can only be found in Him.

 

 

The last day in Haiti, we went to the beach. It was fun, it was relaxing, but it was also still... Nature has always been my peaceful zone. When I am frustrated or confused, or I just need to get away I go outside. And today, October 13, 2012, is the perfect day to be outside. The air is warm, but the breeze is cool. It's the perfect day to sit out at the property of your future church to dream, to be still, to find rest... To be still in Him.

 

And my prayer now, is that you find this stillness too. Because He will fill you, and restore you, and give you this unimagineable love and hope that you have never felt before. It's like a coma, you get so far into the stillness that you don't want to come back. But when you do, He will make you ready to go out and do His mighty work in this land.

 

Until next time...

 

Still in Him,

Symone Lin

 



Haiti: The Hopeful

At this rate, it might be next year before I finish retelling Haiti. I hope you will forgive me for taking such a long time between each of these posts. A lot has happened in the last month. As usual, school is kicking me in the rear. It's like I will never be ahead at this point unless I spend every waking minute studying and doing homework. But then I also have work, which I WILL NOT complain about. At least I have a job, and I love the ladies I work with. But now, on top of all of that.... I am planning my wedding!!!! It's not as if everyone reading this doesn't already know that, but it's still exciting, and I want to tell you again.  :)

So here we are... I promised in the last post that I would share about The Hopeful. It's been almost 2 months since the trip, but let's see what I can pull up for you.

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What does it mean to be hopeful, or to have hope? For some, it's, " I hope I get an A on that paper." or, "I hope I get that promotion or raise." For others, " I hope I get the job, so I can provide for my family." And then we have, "I hope God does work here."

Someone asked me a week or so after the trip what I thought of Haiti and the people... I told him, "They are better off right where they are." *Gasp* Did I just cross a line? I don't think so. Because when I think of being hopeful, I think of someone who has nothing left to rely on. Someone who only has GOD. And some of these people in Haiti... have.... nothing. All they have is hope that God will show up and give them what they need for that day.

Yeah, Haiti is a dirty, immoral, corrupt place. For crying out loud, there number one religion is Vudu. They worship the devil!!! But there are people who have a heart for God, that I can only dream of having...

I have tried to imagine what life would be like for some of these people if they came to live in America. Someone would give them clothes, a nice bed to sleep in, cook them dinner, and maybe even find them a job. But then they would turn into the rest of us. The rest of us who rely on clothes, and shelter and food and MONEY! They would begin to rely on these things, and the hope that I saw in these people would start to wither away. "Well God brought me to America, and gave me all of these blessings, and now I'm so busy, and I'm making money, and I...." They would become a part of this vicious cycle where we rely on ourselves...

When I was in Haiti I saw hope. I saw people who had nothing. I saw people praising God for a bench to sit on in church. I saw people who didn't even need a bench, because their worship was so deep, that they could climb no higher than their knees...

We hear people ask all the time, "If God is good, then why do people suffer?"

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

~ 1 Peter 5:10 ~

 

For me personally, when I suffer, or when my heart is breaking, that is when I hope in God the most. Because clothes, food, money... None of these things can get me through the suffering. If my God has the strength to move mountains, then surely He can calm an aching heart.

 

"I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

~ John 16:33 ~

 

 

Sometimes we aren't always placed in the ideal conditions or situations... But my prayer is that you are hopeful. That you are thankful for what you have, that you trust His provision for the things you need, and that you remain hopeful for the plans that he has for you.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you HOPE and a future."

~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~

 

Sorry everyone, no pictures for this one... How do you capture hope...?

 

Until next time, let your hope change you, and mold you in Him. I know that's what I will be doing, because I am A Work in Progress.

 

 

Hopeful,

Symone Lin